can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
