1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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