bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
