Im at strip club and am horny
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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