I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
