Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
