Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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