well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
