That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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