i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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