I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
