Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize