In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
