can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
