Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
