I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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