quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
