do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
