What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
