i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
