then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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