I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
