watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
