Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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