Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize