hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
