Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
