I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
