ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
