She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
