so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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