so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
