i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
