i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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