well you can't waste a boner
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
