Don't you send me to vm
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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