my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
