why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
