I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
