What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
