The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
