well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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