Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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