Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
