Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
