whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
