don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
