So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
