his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
