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Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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