you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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