I bet he comes in French.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
