I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
