after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
