i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
