I feel like I'm in dance class right now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
