Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize