He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
