god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
