you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
