she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
