Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
