Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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