Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The air was thick with penises
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
