whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
