He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
