I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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