Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize