I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
