What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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