dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
