Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
