I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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