I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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