i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
