I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
