So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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