i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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