We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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