if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
