Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How does it feel to date your dad?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
