Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
