super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am spending my child support on dildos
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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