i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
