She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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