let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize