Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This toilet bowl is my home.
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