What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
