I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
