come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
