i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
